letter to me

'if i knew then, what i know now...' how many times has this empty thought crossed your mind?? obviously we can't go back in time... we must live with choices, scars and memories that may not necessarily rank in the 'top 10' best times of our lives.. but with each of them... you learn and grow [hopefully].

nevertheless, i was thinking the other day of what this older/wiser me would tell the younger, more naive version of myself - this is what i came up with:

dear alicia,

God is real. there are many people you will meet in life and many circumstances you will face that will likely point you to thinking that there isn't or couldn't be a Heavenly Father that cares so deeply for you... but the good news - there is. [john 3:16]

high school is no where near the 'best 4 years of your life'. please please please be a bit more discerning in the people you choose to spend your time with. [1 corinthians 15:33]

serving God through serving others is your calling. ever wonder why you get so frustrated when your mind is all about 'me'?? the reason is because God didn't create you to be a 'me' centered person... you are too full of love - it needs to be shared.

spend as much time as you can with gram and gramps... they leave this earth way too early.

tell mom, dad & mar that you love them every chance you get... they see you through all your rough patches. pray for them. 

you will be pushed [and motivated] to attain your self-appointed goals. you will reach most all of them, but never get caught up with thinking that it is YOU who accomplished these things... it's GOD who blessed you with the opportunity and the talent to accomplish them.

everything in this life is for GOD'S GLORY. if what you are doing doesn't honor Him... that's not what you are to be doing. [1 corinthians 10:31]

try to not worry too much about tomorrow. you will spend your college years worrying about your GPA, your admissions to post-grad schools, your 'career path' as it pertains to attaining your doctorate in nursing practice to become a certified nurse midwife... well... those are all good things to keep in mind, but you will soon realize that this goal was also self-appointed. think deeper... what is God's plan for your life?

have you realized yet, that you think a lot about missionary work? if not, you will... you eventually learn that this is what you are to do.. i can't tell you too much about it [don't want to spoil any surprises]... but all i can say... is TRUST HIM. that's all you need to do, He'll do the rest. [exodus 9:14-16]

in love, you will lose, but in the end.. you will learn - and love again. your first love will be an absolute heartbreak. don't lose yourself. you'll make it through. [the boys that leave always contact you in the future when they realize what they've done... and this 1st love of yours.. he hangs on for over 10 years for you!! - but you realize that it all happened for a reason, stay wise and remember... you don't want to backtrack]. 

there's a point when you think that you may have been cut out to do this 'on your own'..  and this is when you are showered with more blessings from the Lord than you could have ever imagined... [his name... cody]. you will meet him about 3 years before it's your time to be in a relationship with him, so when you meet him at first, learn a little from him, talk with him - and be patient.. its not your time with him... yet ;) [1 corinthians 13:4-8a]

brace yourself... i know you hate it there, but... you move to central illinois [i said.. brace yourself]. it's not as bad as you think. its where you are supposed to be for the time that you are there. you meet some great people, get to spend time with the family that you weren't around growing up.. and this is where you will do nursing school, get your 1st RN position and start planning for your future [which, ironically... won't be in illinois.. still waiting to hear from God on this one].

never lose your kindness, humility, gentleness, faith, and love for Christ... you need all of this if you want to be a living sacrifice and a walking testimony of what God has done for you and the joy you have found.. through Him. [1 corinthians 13:13]

love,

alicia