among the pressures of starting a family now that we're married, pursuing the stay at home wife/mom life, or living in a small town where it's much more ideallic to raise a family, the most obvious pressure [personally], is buying a house. this may sound utterly ridiculous as the pressures you feel may be polar opposites, but stick with me here...
i am in my mid 20's, been married over a year, and what do i have to 'show' for it? a 3rd floor apartment on a major highway on the out-skirts of a major city. oh, and 2 dogs. i'm at the point where i sit back and say 'God, if i die and find out you don't exist... i've literally wasted a life.'here's what i mean... cody and i aren't [by any means] wealthy [as far as western culture would say], however, we have the means [and the desire at times] to live comfortably, by some land, build a house, raise a family (especially while in the midst of living in the richest zip code in beautiful alabama, surrounded by intense - and utterly ridiculous large homes) - but here's the catch - how do we justify it?
trust me, i've tried, many many times to justify the american dream as i revisit the thought of buying land in my mind.. but i just can't do it. i can't. the goal for us is to be completely (100%) debt free in order to be able to go over seas as missionaries in a moment's notice. the blank check is on the table.
cody and i both have the strong conviction of reaching the unreached with the good news of Christ and how do we accomplish this without 1st denying that which our culture says is necessary for a comfortable life?
my flesh so desires to be close [geographically] to family... to live in a big house on lots of land, raising lots of animals and lots of children ;) but my soul desires the glory of God more. period. and the battle between flesh and soul can be tearfully nagging at times. it's at this point that i realize either i'm all in or i am just another cultural Christian who only claims the holy name of God in the confines of a warm and fuzzy environment. and if i'm all in, there's no turning back.my flesh desires the american dream....
but my souls desires God more.
either there's a God... or there's not. there are ONLY 2 SCENARIOS:
THERE'S NO GOD
1) i'm a cultural Christian. i live in a nice house, with a nice family, in a nice area, leaving a nice legacy. when i die, i no longer exist, but i've enjoyed life, was moral, left a family with values...
2) i'm a Christian. i may never own a house. i may be called to live in diesease and poverty stricken areas. i travel about, possibly risking my life and that of my family's, telling people of a God that doesn't exist. when i die, i've wasted a life. the only one i'll ever have.
3) i'm not a Christian. i live how i want. i die and no longer exist.
THERE'S A GOD
1) i'm a cultural Christian. i live in a nice house, with a nice family, in a nice area, leaving a nice legacy. when i die, i answer to God regarding what i've done with my life to glorify Him. will He see that i loved Him more than myself?
2) i'm a Christian. i may never own a house. i may be called to live in diesease and poverty stricken areas. i travel about, possibly risking my life and that of my family's, telling people of a God that exists and when i die, i hear 'welcome good and faithful servant!' from the lips of my God!
3) i'm not a Christian. i live how i want. i'm damned for an eternity in hell.
i would classify most americans as a number 1. those who have fallen face-first into what deuteronomy 6 warns about. people who are satisfied and FULL off things God has blessed them with that they no longer have a need for God.
And when the LORD your God brings you into the land... with great and good cities that you did not build, and houses full of all good things that you did not fill, and cisterns that you did not dig, and vineyards and olive trees that you did not plant—and when you eat and are full, then take care lest you forget the LORD.... It is the LORD your God you shall fear... for the LORD your God in your midst is a jealous God—lest the anger of the LORD your God be kindled against you, and he destroy you from off the face of the earth... You shall not put the LORD your God to the test... you shall do what is right and good in the sight of the LORD...
when you consider yourself a number 2 in either of these scenarios (as i do)... there's really no choice here. you are BANKING YOUR WHOLE LIFE on the fact that THERE IS A GOD and you live accordingly.you've heard it before and will (most-assuredly) again:
i'd rather live like there is a God and find out that there's not, than to live like there's not one and find out that there is.
